Best of 1995 Transcript

Transcript of the latest episode:

(warning, explicit content)

 

Mark 0:00
Everybody, welcome to a special bonus episode of your favorite show.

Carol 0:04
It’s a very special episode.

Mark 0:06
This is the best of 1995.

Carol 0:11
So enjoy these flashbacks of 95. And get ready for us to come back in a couple weeks for 1996 right

Mark 0:24
a brand new year and a new co host

Carol 0:29
a so you know Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa and Hanukkah and everything that gets celebrated.

Mark 0:39
We’ll be off next week. So no show next week. But we will see you in two weeks

Carol 0:44
we’ll be drinking some eggnog have a great holiday season

Mark 0:47
everybody Bye.

Unknown Speaker 0:49
Hey, what’s up? like totally time for 90210

Mark 0:58
What’s wrong with you? What’s going on? Why the looks on your face over there.

Carol 1:03
It was just really quiet.

Mark 1:05
What was really quiet the music that’s because you had me turn I your knowings your your your cans?

Carol 1:13
I know but then it was super quiet and weird.

Mark 1:17
Well that’s what it sounds like when it’s very soft. Okay, it’s only your volume though. They heard a normal volume. Good. holy man. See what I have to deal with as far as putting this thing together for all you all

Carol 1:32
I know. Very difficult to work with. So

Mark 1:34
I’m running it through computers to make audio. Now I got it. Anyway, we should try to put this on the computer. Welcome Welcome to Massive Late Fee. And now your hosts, Mark and Carol. Well, hello everyone. Welcome back to Massive Late Fee. My name is Mark with me as always as my girlfriend Carol. How are you? Carol?

Carol 2:09
Hey, what’s up?

Mark 2:10
much it’s been a good week here it is November 17. October 20 August 18. September 8 July 21. June 23 August 25. It is what is it? Is it may 12 is it may 12 1995 it is may 12 1995.

Unknown Speaker 2:27
Good for you. You can read the calendar. I’m so proud. Hey, what’s up how

Mark 2:32
much we’ve had a good week here at the fee.

Carol 2:37
A fee?

Mark 2:38
The fee Luffy Luffy

Unknown Speaker 2:40
like puppy love few it’s

Mark 2:43
it’s popular Pepito. What are you doing with you’re knocking around our table around and things are

Unknown Speaker 2:52
sorry, I’m hyper.

Mark 2:54
Yeah, apparently. Trying to get your legs up and everything.

Unknown Speaker 2:59
Well, you know what we need to get like more comfortable chairs.

Mark 3:02
That would be nice. You guys want to send us money? put money in our lockers. We can buy more comfortable chairs

Unknown Speaker 3:09
and then I won’t wiggle.

Mark 3:12
I’ll tell you what, though. I I always have a comfortable chair when I’m sitting in front of Nick at night. Are you? What?

Unknown Speaker 3:21
Do you

Mark 3:24
Hi everyone. My name is Mark. This is Massive Late Fee. With me, somewhat is my girlfriend Carol. How are you? Carol?

Unknown Speaker 3:38
I am good. And I am with you. And guess what? It’s my birthday. So leave me alone.

Mark 3:44
I just had to wait several minutes for Carol to finish playing Tetris on the Gameboy. Before we could start recording on this glorious may 26 1995. But now you look like somebody.

Unknown Speaker 4:00
Ah, okay. I don’t think me think

Mark 4:08
hey, so all technical difficulties. I had to tell something to to Carol off tape.

Unknown Speaker 4:17
And he didn’t tell me he was doing it and it was really weird. It was like I went deaf.

Mark 4:22
Is that how you guys experienced? She looked alarm and

Unknown Speaker 4:29
unmute. unmute.

Mark 4:33
You could hear yourself Couldn’t you speaking but not the way that I’m supposed to? So you thought you were hearing your thoughts? Mostly what it’s like to be deaf. It’s like you could hear but it’s just thoughts. Oh goodness.

How am I gonna transition from this to the Oklahoma City bombing.

Unknown Speaker 5:03
What

Mark 5:05
the Oklahoma City bombing happened about nine days ago now, I guess. Yeah. April 19 suspects. From here, maybe there’s a Michigan connection. So I don’t like it. Well, I’m sure that that we don’t know them. I hope I hope not. I hope my friend Terry’s not

Unknown Speaker 5:27
terribly involved. I don’t know.

Mark 5:28
Well, you know, he’s sometimes like, I know some people that mess around a little with the Michigan militia. And that’s, that’s, you know, part of it, I guess. I don’t know. Interesting. I’ll be honest, I haven’t really been following the story closely. But tragic. Tragic. Yeah. Oh, the Federal Building in Oklahoma City. It’s very sad, supposedly retribution for what was it called waco? The waco texas raid, David Koresh, you know, the Branch Davidian cult? Have you remember them?

Unknown Speaker 6:03
Yes, I

Unknown Speaker 6:04
do with the Kool Aid. Right

Mark 6:07
now. That’s Jim. That’s Jim Jones. Jonestown. They weren’t Kiana. Same kind of thing, though.

Unknown Speaker 6:16
They’re all you know, murdering. lying. depends on who you ask guys with delusions of grandeur. Some

Mark 6:23
people I know say that they were just, you know, they were just upholding their second amendment rights to have guns and federal people were like, Fuck you. Whatever. Yeah. Well, I mean, it’s a cult, you know, atoms. So anyway, ah, not the kind of people I want to have guns don’t that’s breaking news for us. The oj verdict is in that Carol? Yep. Not guilty on all counts of murder. What do you think? opinions? He’s not guilty. But,

Unknown Speaker 6:57
but,

Unknown Speaker 6:58
but yes.

Mark 6:59
Do you think so? Don’t you? You were questioning when Mark Berman was invoking the Fifth Amendment against self incrimination about the planting the glove and stuff like that. You were like, no, no. It’s weird that he would do that. It is weird that he would do that.

Unknown Speaker 7:17
It is weird.

Mark 7:18
It is weird. They found his blood or whatever at the scene. They found her blood in this truck at his house seems open and shut to me. plus whatever the hell they’re talking about this DNA stuff. I mean, where they can test the DNA. How would

Unknown Speaker 7:38
his blood be there? If he wasn’t the killer?

Mark 7:41
I don’t know.

Unknown Speaker 7:42
Did he like go to the crime scene and lead all over it and

Mark 7:46
leave? They planted it?

Unknown Speaker 7:49
How do they have his blood?

Mark 7:51
They’ve got everyone’s blood.

Unknown Speaker 7:53
Okay, now.

Mark 7:57
They got a big refrigerator with everyone’s blood on it. Sure. Sure that they could have made it look like we did this. It’s the hosts of Massive Late Fee. They did it. For sure.

Unknown Speaker 8:09
No, I mean, it’s just yeah, if there’s blood we

Mark 8:11
didn’t like what they said about. I don’t know. Airheads. We talked about

Unknown Speaker 8:20
it seems it seems like he probably did it.

Mark 8:23
But the jury said he didn’t

Unknown Speaker 8:25
do it. And they heard everything and we didn’t

Mark 8:28
say now Los Angeles does not burn down. Yeah, that’s the upside of it. The downside of it is He probably got away with double murder.

Unknown Speaker 8:37
Probably.

Mark 8:39
What do you think of JFK Jr.

Unknown Speaker 8:41
His cute. Yeah. That’s it. I don’t really okay. I’m not. I’m not like obsessed. Like, Oh,

Mark 8:48
is he gonna run for president?

Unknown Speaker 8:51
Hopefully never. The Kennedys had their time. They’re done.

Mark 8:55
Oh, wow. Kenny’s at one presidency, and they’re done. Lee Harvey Oswald, or a conspiracy of many people. Just made sure of that. It sounds like you were involved. Yeah, they’re done now. We

Unknown Speaker 9:15
know I mean, I don’t like it when there’s multiple generations in a family that are president. I don’t watch only happened once. And I don’t like it, john. And

Mark 9:25
I don’t know when john quincy adams became presidents in the 1830s. You were like, not all I get. This weekend, Carol. We had we had some exciting times this weekend when you say we went roller blading. Slade gating.

Unknown Speaker 9:46
Blade.

Mark 9:47
Blade,

Unknown Speaker 9:48
say Yes, we did.

Mark 9:50
Yeah, it was fun, right. Kinda.

Unknown Speaker 9:52
I mean, you know, if you consider watching me fall on my ass a bunch of times fun then yeah,

Mark 9:56
it was definitely fun.

Unknown Speaker 9:59
My budget

Mark 10:01
Just from the rollers scanning. What

Unknown Speaker 10:06
is wrong with you?

Mark 10:07
Why don’t

Unknown Speaker 10:08
of course just from the release gate What else could it hurt from? I don’t know. Me either.

Unknown Speaker 10:17
Jerk.

Mark 10:18
I am listen. Hmm. I, I am the best kind of sidekick. I’m the best kind of, you know, friend to have in a gym? Because I’m always right behind you.

Unknown Speaker 10:35
So true.

Unknown Speaker 10:39
So, school

Mark 10:45
are we doing word association?

Unknown Speaker 10:48
school school started. That was the other thing that happened this week. Cool.

Mark 10:54
started your career.

Unknown Speaker 10:57
I hate it. And that makes me sad. Oh, yeah. That’s all huh. That is all I have to say about

Mark 11:02
that. algebra tests and so on.

Unknown Speaker 11:04
That’s all I have to say about that. Okay, what’s that

Mark 11:07
from? worse? Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, I remember. Okay. That movie saw you.

Unknown Speaker 11:18
I feel like a box of chocolates. It true. I have no kind of Southern accent really.

Mark 11:22
Really? No one noticed.

Unknown Speaker 11:28
I don’t acknowledge that. I am aware that that was not a southern

Mark 11:31
Life is like a box of chocolates. Eastern European. Hey,

Unknown Speaker 11:39
there’s an excellent I can do.

Mark 11:41
Say a Slobodan Milosevic.

Unknown Speaker 11:47
That was hot.

Mark 11:49
Do you want to talk about a little side plot with Brandon and what’s her name? Emily.

Unknown Speaker 11:55
Yeah, Emily Valentine. Emily Valentine Who?

Mark 11:58
She’s the punk rock girl. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 12:00
but I mean, he obviously wants to like jump her bones

Mark 12:03
piercing the legend of Billie Jean. No really good movie. with Helen Slater. That’s what she she reminds me of Helen Slater. Oh, real cool. punk rock.

Unknown Speaker 12:13
She’s in the him. And it seems like he’s into her. But he’s not in her. No, he’s not in her. Apparently there’s this big party. And everybody in school is talking about going and everyone’s invited. And Brandon doesn’t want to go he wants to stay home like a loser. dressed up as a vampire and scaring kid

Mark 12:31
Brandon’s like a 50 year old. Right. And maybe that’s why he’s attracted to Andrea cuz like you talk about the war together. Right about the war. I mean, World War One.

Unknown Speaker 12:43
Yeah, they are in the Kaiser. They’re a couple oltl. Emily, she shows up.

Mark 12:49
Yep. She does check

Unknown Speaker 12:50
her trading with her niece and nephew, who are acutely matching and little ghost costumes are

Mark 12:55
twins.

Unknown Speaker 12:56
Yes. Well, and she made them their little costumes.

Mark 12:59
Yeah, they’re props for her.

Unknown Speaker 13:02
When they show up at Brandon’s. Um, they invite him to go trick or treating with them. And his parents have to like practically push them out the door to go to He’s like, Oh, no,

Mark 13:12
I’ll stay here and he’ll pass up reasons.

Unknown Speaker 13:15
Yeah, his parents got raisins. Like that sucks. Who wants to be those people? How

Mark 13:18
is their house not been? tpwd?

Unknown Speaker 13:21
I don’t know. Only because it’s Beverly Hills. They’re so into each other talking and laughing and having a great time walking with these children that they fucking lose the children. Yeah. I mean, I understand looking like I look at you.

Mark 13:35
Yeah, you do. And cook to me a couple that

Unknown Speaker 13:37
I have a couple times. Yeah. But I don’t think that I would become so blind to my surroundings that I wouldn’t see children wander off whatever.

Mark 13:45
You imagine trying to have that conversation with your with your sister or brother or whatever. No, I’m sorry. Your kids are dead. But I was lost in his eyes.

Unknown Speaker 13:54
So Brandon and Emily freak out and you know, they call the police and the police are like, Oh, it happens every Halloween. It’s no big deal. Don’t worry about it.

Mark 14:04
Cops. Like what about those one kids? So like, I got their guts ripped out. Like hey.

Unknown Speaker 14:12
It turns out though, that everything’s fine. And the kids had actually gone back to Brendan’s house because

Mark 14:17
of his dad’s wrestling with them.

Unknown Speaker 14:19
And she still had the time, inability that evening to hang out with him more.

Mark 14:24
Yeah, I don’t know how what did happen to those kids?

Unknown Speaker 14:27
I don’t know. She didn’t deserve to God. She should have been.

Unknown Speaker 14:31
She should have been shamed.

Mark 14:33
Yeah. And grounded. She’s been a very naughty young lady.

Unknown Speaker 14:37
And yeah, she goes to the beach with Brandon and you know, asked for a spanking. They do kiss though, don’t they? They do. Yeah. So it’s getting

Mark 14:46
there. That’s

Unknown Speaker 14:48
the first time that Brandon likes a girl we see her more than once.

Mark 14:51
For Sabrina likes a girl that wasn’t immediately murdered. Off screen and never again.

Unknown Speaker 14:58
Sexy mermaid and Donna case.

Mark 15:00
She actually looked not too bad. She

Unknown Speaker 15:02
looked really hot. But she couldn’t move.

Mark 15:05
No. For some guys.

Unknown Speaker 15:08
I mean, you know, her legs were not.

Mark 15:11
That is always weird about the mermaid thing. Yeah, the top half of a woman is probably guess more appealing visually, to guys in the bottom half. But wouldn’t if you couldn’t have sex for the mermaid. That’s my point.

Unknown Speaker 15:24
You were gonna say some stuff that was gonna go away wrong.

Mark 15:29
I’m just saying you couldn’t have sex of the mermaid? And maybe you could. There’s stuff a mermaid could do to you. But you couldn’t have sex with one.

Unknown Speaker 15:38
Maybe they have a secret hole somewhere.

Mark 15:42
But how how appealing would that be? Let me find the secret hole.

Unknown Speaker 15:49
So Emily Valentine proves to be a little too edgy.

Mark 15:53
To punk rock.

Unknown Speaker 15:55
for Mr. Brandon.

Mark 15:56
Yeah, come on. Now. A glass of whole milk would be too edgy for

Unknown Speaker 16:02
this whole episode is like I don’t dance. I don’t. I don’t dance. I

Mark 16:05
don’t track my dolls don’t have faces. Let’s see it like the Amish a vanity thing,

Unknown Speaker 16:13
right? They’re talking about the weekend and she gets the idea that they’re gonna go to this undercover club or underground. Underground club like

Mark 16:23
it’s a club mask. It’s a cop masquerading as a club. Right? It’s just a plainclothes cop on all fours. And it’s like, Hey, come on kids. Here’s where the club is. They get a good parking spot for some reason. He says it’s one of the perks of going to the dance with me. I don’t understand. Why was he the DJ? And I don’t know cuz he’s on the dance. Yeah, no, he’s, he’s she says, I’m proud to go to the dance with the best dancer in all of West Beverly, proving that West Beverly is the whitest school in America. Right? Because I don’t know. I don’t think he’d be the best dancer in our school.

Unknown Speaker 17:04
Right? Yeah, he was scary. I mean, he’s very, we’ll say he’s animated. And I mean, enthusiastic. And, you know, those are? Those are pluses. I guess they can be Yeah, it doesn’t look good. And he gets this look at us. He looks like he’s fucking that’s what his face looks like. He’s like a very intense about what he’s doing.

Mark 17:24
Well dance dancing a little like that.

Unknown Speaker 17:26
I guess in Well, apparently because it certainly got her riled up.

Mark 17:31
But this episode of 90210 was quite the emotional experience. Hmm.

Unknown Speaker 17:37
I guess.

Mark 17:39
Well, it was it was very it was there was seriousness to it.

Unknown Speaker 17:42
There was seriousness,

Mark 17:43
and also silly

Unknown Speaker 17:45
CS. That’s, I think it was. I know, they were trying to be serious, but I feel like the episode was a little more silly than maybe they meant it to be.

Mark 17:54
Yeah, probably. I don’t know.

Unknown Speaker 17:56
It was not one of my favorites. I

Mark 17:58
thought it was fine. The pretty bog standard, early 902. And I feel like the the episodes get more interesting. The show gets more interesting as it goes along, I think. Yeah. But why don’t you tell us? What happened in the episode? Okay,

Unknown Speaker 18:16
so Andrea asks Brandon, to be a big brother. She She brow beats rent and Big Brother. She She definitely she does not take no for an answer. She’s a very pushy lady. She doesn’t take no for an answer

Mark 18:35
until it comes to sex. And then it’s all knows. Until eventually apparently, it’s a big Yes. Yeah. And then she gets pregnant the one time she says yes.

Unknown Speaker 18:45
All the time about hurting other people’s nose for answer. I mean, she she definitely seems to have no on her mouth.

Mark 18:57
Anyway, she’s got other stuff in her mouth.

Unknown Speaker 18:59
Guys, how are you? Oh, this

Unknown Speaker 19:00
Malta sound amazing. Like, I wish they would build this wall here.

Mark 19:03
Mm hmm. It was gonna have 1000 peach pits right?

Unknown Speaker 19:08
It was gonna have an ice rink in it. Yeah, it was gonna be like multiple stories in our K two coffeehouse. Everybody wanted a coffee a

Mark 19:15
nature preserve.

Unknown Speaker 19:17
Look insane.

Mark 19:18
There was an entire Native American tribe they were going to say, that had a reservation there. Right. Brandon said fuck them. I’m not friends with any Native Americans. So I am friends with a broken down old Italian man that just wants to retire.

Unknown Speaker 19:32
Right? Because he sees on the plans that it’s going to be constructed where the peachpit is, it’s like the peach pits not even doing well. No. Which is another reason why this could have been a really good thing for him. So it’s not even like forever.

Mark 19:47
They the offer that they gave him was a cash offer. We never know never how much it is but a cash offer and then a prime spot inside the mall. And Brandon’s like work until you die next I want to read a couple things from the massive love segments of the newspaper.

Unknown Speaker 20:07
Okay?

Mark 20:09
Because we’re going to be dealing with some some massive law

Unknown Speaker 20:11
are going to be dealing with Samantha love.

Mark 20:13
Trevor city married couple 30s seeking other couple for clean discrete adult fun, leave best time to call.

Unknown Speaker 20:22
You know what my biggest question for this is know, why is a couple in Traverse City Michigan looking for a couple in Detroit, Michigan?

Mark 20:32
Well, that is a good question. They want to be far away from from the good clean living in Traverse City.

Unknown Speaker 20:39
I mean, I get why somebody from Detroit might want to go to Traverse City for like, you know, the cherry festival and stuff like that. Right. But um, if you’re already in Traverse City stay there.

Mark 20:52
Agreed. I agree.

Unknown Speaker 20:54
Are you trying to like mix with like, a with your own kind don’t mix with city people.

Mark 21:04
Find a couple and cut off shorts with missing teeth. You know, well established attractive white couple 23 to 35. What does that mean? well established? Like they they’re a pillar of the community.

Unknown Speaker 21:21
That is a question.

Mark 21:23
well established attractive white couple 2335. Wow, seeking long term intimate relationship and adult fun.

Unknown Speaker 21:31
Wait, wait, are they 23 and 35?

Mark 21:34
One of them’s 23 and 30. Yeah, no, they actually they they existed in the time spectrum at two different points in time.

Unknown Speaker 21:41
They can’t be well established.

Mark 21:43
If she’s 23. Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ve been grooming her since she was 16 we’re well established rose grows seeking long term intimate friendship and adult fun with attractive by white female 20 to 30. Please, serious inquiries only.

Unknown Speaker 22:02
What if I’m just fucking with you?

Mark 22:09
Is it is that the climax stick aligned to the screenplay? You’re writing in your head while we’re doing this? What the fuck zenmate?

Unknown Speaker 22:20
Like, we always,

Unknown Speaker 22:21
you know, you

Unknown Speaker 22:22
hear people say all the time, serious inquiries only and it’s like,

Mark 22:26
oh, I gotcha.

Unknown Speaker 22:31
Who waste their time? Like the context these people but they’re not serious.

Mark 22:36
I’ve thought about it. I’ll be honest with you. I’ve thought

Unknown Speaker 22:39
okay, but we have like

Unknown Speaker 22:40
extraordinary circumstances because you know, we wouldn’t be doing it for entertainment.

Mark 22:45
Are we a well established couple?

Unknown Speaker 22:48
I don’t think he established much of anything.

Mark 22:50
I think we’re well established in the minds of the listeners. What do you guys think? Hey, right. Retro, Late fee.com or Late Fee? 1990 four@aol.com. Are we a well established? Couple? Yes or no? No context, just just Yes or No? Okay. Well kept.

Unknown Speaker 23:13
Wow,

Mark 23:14
well kept slim white male. That means look to improve sugar. Does he mean well kempt?

Unknown Speaker 23:22
It’s a bad he does.

Mark 23:25
He does, sir, that that phrase is well kempt with an M, but I’m missing

Unknown Speaker 23:31
some letters that welke

Mark 23:33
well kept it slim white male, looking for straight or bi curious female or couple? For discreet fun, no solo males.

Unknown Speaker 23:43
What are you gonna do? Okay, so you’re okay with another guy being there. But you don’t want to have sex with the other guy? Like, what? What’s going on here?

Mark 23:49
Would you make eye contact? Well, the woman’s between the two of you. I mean, what’s going on here?

Unknown Speaker 23:53
I mean, if she’s bi curious. I mean, it seems like you’d be more open to having another female. Hmm. I don’t understand. I don’t understand you’re looking for a lesbian couple. If

Mark 24:01
anything. That’s true. And just the if it’s if penthouses forum letters have have taught me anything, it’s that lesbian couples always look for a guy just to mix things up.

Unknown Speaker 24:15
Who needs a strap on when you get a guy to add to it? Right?

Mark 24:19
Exactly. A white male 50 married seeking a white sorry, white male 50 seeking married black female for daytime relationship and fun. No strings attached. No drugs or nuts. Just nice fun.

Unknown Speaker 24:36
No drugs or nuts. Now,

Mark 24:39
I’m thinking that he is adverse to drugs and allergic to nuts.

Unknown Speaker 24:45
See, I’m not sure if he means he’s allergic to nuts if he means he wants to make sure they don’t have any nuts, or every weeds that he doesn’t want anybody who’s crazy

Mark 24:59
in order to be With this guy, you have to be a black female. And you have to bring your your certification papers.

Unknown Speaker 25:08
I have no no

Mark 25:09
I’m not. I’m a female and I am not insane.

Unknown Speaker 25:14
And you actually married, right? Yes. That’s right. That’s so stupid. Oh, look

Mark 25:20
at this. Here’s somebody very honest. Okay. East Side gay white male 33 511 330 pounds. Wow. That’s a big boy. A hopeless romantic. looking for that special someone for fun and much more.

Unknown Speaker 25:36
What is more than fun? I’m kind of scared of that. Like what’s on the other side of fun. Had fun. Alex have more.

Mark 25:50
We’ve had fun. Now we’re going all the way around to misery. We’ve had fun now. All of a sudden I have a bloody knife in my hand. I don’t know how that got. We’re having so much fun. What happened?

Unknown Speaker 26:03
Oh, we went to 30

Unknown Speaker 26:04
pounds because I eat my lovers.

Unknown Speaker 26:09
But we’re having

Mark 26:10
fun. His nickname is praying mat. How about this one? Married? big teddy bear. It’s not a person’s an actual teddy bear but legally married. Okay, want adventurous? passionate? Female for fun? Not not more just fun. Yeah, tech age. What?

Unknown Speaker 26:30
The guy is a dick.

Mark 26:32
Oh, age race open. Must be cleaning the scrape. Why? Oh, cuz he’s married. Yeah, I’ve read the first line thing. Yeah, he’s a married teddy bear. So he’s also like a 300 pound dude. Probably.

Unknown Speaker 26:45
And I’m sorry, Mr. Fucking teddy bear. Why are you cheating on your wife? Okay, that’s not a very teddy bear move. Teddy bears are supposed to be safe and friendly. And not heartbreaking cheaters? Ooh, Piglet.

Mark 26:58
I’m looking. I’m looking for a female. You know, we don’t have any more. Is Assalamu alaikum?

Unknown Speaker 27:08
I am Miss Assalamu alaikum.

Mark 27:10
Yeah, he I think he started his nation. So keep an eye on that. Go and keep an eye out for that new nation.

Unknown Speaker 27:19
You should you should write us Assalamu alaikum at a Yeah, late late fee. 1990 four@aol.com. Do it. Let us know how it’s going.

Mark 27:28
Yeah, we want to know. How long do you think it would take to start a nation that way? He’s asking for one woman and one man.

Unknown Speaker 27:36
Okay, so. And the thing is, you can only knock up a woman once. So it’s even if he’s throwing himself in the shoes of more

Mark 27:43
than one child.

Unknown Speaker 27:47
One guy at a time. It’s like,

Unknown Speaker 27:48
yeah, like I mean, if he had like multiple women, I could see it being easier to start the nation. Oh, for sure. Oh, it seems weird to me, because

Mark 27:56
I don’t think he said it for the sex.

Unknown Speaker 27:59
But he wants to watch

Mark 28:00
maybe I don’t know. I think he’s in it for the religious instruction.

Unknown Speaker 28:04
Right. But I mean, he wants a bunch of people. It would be easier if he had more than one woman. He wanted one guy and one girl to start a nation. What do you think that means? That means like procreating right. Yeah, that’s what I would think. Yeah. Or does it mean to recruit?

Mark 28:17
No, I think he wants I think he wants to. I think he’s looking for Adam and Eve. Okay, to start a new completely new nation. That’s what I think this mentally unbalanced. is looking to do

Unknown Speaker 28:30
18 years.

Mark 28:33
You think in 18 years, you could start a new nation? Well,

Unknown Speaker 28:36
he would have 18 people. If if the lady was very fertile.

Mark 28:40
Oh, yeah. 18 pregnancy successful pregnancies? That seems unlikely. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 28:47
But and then, you know,

Mark 28:49
an 18 is not a nation and

Unknown Speaker 28:50
then at 18 you got all these people that can? Oh, what they’re gonna be siblings. No, you can’t do that.

Mark 28:56
I think that’s what they’re gonna do. I think that’s what he’s gonna do, though. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 28:59
maybe he’ll not come up.

Mark 29:01
knock up the siblings. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 29:03
Where the boys gonna sleep with. Sad, not fair.

Mark 29:09
Yep, most objectionable part about it. The guys aren’t getting nothing rape or incest. Or brainwashing? You know, I

Unknown Speaker 29:20
don’t miss you anywhere else.

Mark 29:24
We hope you failed.

Unknown Speaker 29:27
We should go to Orange County so we can be rich.

Mark 29:31
What? Yeah, that’s that’s how it happened. What race? Do you think that? Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 29:37
are in Orange County.

Mark 29:38
That’s true.

Unknown Speaker 29:39
So if we emulate them, I want to figure out what the life choices are

Mark 29:43
and then write a self help book.

Unknown Speaker 29:45
Go towards it.

Mark 29:47
That’s what the books gonna be called go toward the money

Unknown Speaker 29:51
while the path that leads you to Orange County.

Mark 29:56
Maybe that’s what we should do. Should I hang out Should I go to Sunset Boulevard and Have a prostitute suck my dick. No, that’s what the one of the rich guys in this movie did know his behavior,

Unknown Speaker 30:06
but that’s giving away money.

Unknown Speaker 30:09
I was just like, oh, that Hugh Grant. You know what I can? No,

Mark 30:13
I love that your internal monologue. It’s from the 1930s. What a cat. Now let’s go. Jenson sassafrass

Unknown Speaker 30:23
so this week, we watched Caroline in the city.

Mark 30:26
We did that new show with Leah Thompson.

Unknown Speaker 30:30
I really like it. Do you? Yeah, it’s fine. And you know me. I love all sitcoms. No,

Mark 30:37
it’s a very simple like this, like, okay, so she plays for those who haven’t seen it. It’s brand new this season. Leah Thompson, Marty McFly, his mom. Back to the Future. Right. plays a cartoonist. She has a comic strip or something like that. And she works with this dude, Richard that draws the stuff.

Unknown Speaker 31:02
He He’s in her apartment. That’s where his workstation is, which is kind of weird, right? Like he gets up to go to work every morning. And that work is at her apartment.

Mark 31:11
And she’s dating this one dude. And she’s got a friend. That’s a girl that dresses all in leather and stuff and sunglasses. She’s tough. She’s punk rock. I should have gotten What’s her name? From 902102? Right? It’s Tori. No, no, no, not saved by the bell. Yeah. Christine. What’s her name? I can’t remember. You know, I don’t know the one that gave Brandon euphoria. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they she got in her? Because she’s the original punk rock, right? Anyway. Ah, so the very the plot of this episode is incredibly simple,

Unknown Speaker 31:51
and incredibly stupid. But

Mark 31:54
she goes to the ATM. And her friend tells her that she has something in her nose. So she picks her nose to

Unknown Speaker 32:03
get it out in the mirror on the ATM. Which how many ATMs have mirrors on them? I’m not think most of them do aware of that. Oh, I

Mark 32:11
think most of them do. Okay. I mean, I don’t really use them. But because I mean, they’re around and they’re hard to find.

Unknown Speaker 32:20
They’re usually just at the bank. Um, but it’s it spit out her card and her receipt. And not her money. Correct. So,

Mark 32:29
which I you know, that’s like, suppose that happens,

Unknown Speaker 32:32
which and if it was like 20 bucks, I guess it wouldn’t be as big of a deal. But it was $200.

Mark 32:36
Right. That’s a big deal. So she, she says that, you know, she goes to the bank. And the woman working there as Mrs. Banks. So they they, they churn all the jokes out they can have about that.

Unknown Speaker 32:55
And she’s such a bitch. She doesn’t even think it’s funny. She does not get the humor. That’s frightening.

Mark 33:01
Yeah, well, you know that one dude in Mary Poppins. His name was Mr. Banks, right? Oh, yeah. And he also worked at a bank.

Unknown Speaker 33:08
Yeah. But I mean, it’s like, it’s like her heart has to be dead inside to not find it funny.

Mark 33:13
Well, shit.

Unknown Speaker 33:16
I’m sorry.

Mark 33:17
Let’s go a little far, but okay.

Unknown Speaker 33:20
So it turns out that the way they can prove that she didn’t get her money is to review the camera footage. And for the hidden camera, behind the mirror in the ATM. The one she picked her nose? What the fuck? Do you think this is real? Do you think ATMs have like, little hidden cameras in them? For

Mark 33:39
sure? Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 33:40
I don’t like that.

Mark 33:41
You know, because to stop people from stealing stuff, for sure. Because if they didn’t have a camera, anybody could come up there. Like in the middle of the night that just out. Anyone could come up there in the middle of night with like a screwdriver or whatever. And like, just take the money that’s inside. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 33:56
I guess that’s true.

Mark 33:57
We’ll save alarms on them. I don’t know. Maybe they do. Huh? But anyway, so I don’t understand why she has to watch it with everybody. Like, it’s they’re gonna make popcorn and get some snacks and have a viewing party for this. They can’t just look at it and be like, oh, yep, we see that you were there. And you didn’t get any money? Also, how do they? How can they not know that? She didn’t get money, right? So they don’t keep track of how much money’s in this machine.

Unknown Speaker 34:26
That’s how they figure out whether or not you know, a customer gets shorted. If you’re a cashier that count on them. Yeah. So yeah, they should be able to do that with the ATM. You’re right. Check the receipts and how

Mark 34:37
much is in the thing? Yeah, I that’s what I would think but no, what they, what they’re gonna do is they’re gonna force her to come in and she’s like, Oh, no, and then she leaves.

Unknown Speaker 34:47
She’s so embarrassed that she picked her nose that she leaves instead of staying to get $200

Mark 34:53
How much money do you think she makes right in this rain comics.

Unknown Speaker 34:57
I mean, it’s a pretty nice apartment.

Mark 35:00
She’s in New York, right? The city is New York, right? Caroline in the city.

Unknown Speaker 35:06
And then Richard The, the one of our cartoonist or

Mark 35:11
colorist, I don’t know the guy that the guy that does the traces the tribes.

Unknown Speaker 35:16
He, he’s dating some girl that he does not like, that he keeps trying to break up with and stuff keeps coming up like her dad died or something. I don’t know.

Mark 35:29
back but yeah. Dad’s heart was dead inside. Right? And then someone chalked it back to life. And he was okay.

Unknown Speaker 35:37
So he finally has a window where he’s gonna break up with her. And instead of being honest and being like, Hey, I really just don’t want to go out with you,

Mark 35:45
cuz he wants to be a nice guy.

Unknown Speaker 35:47
He tells her that he’s allergic to her dog.

Mark 35:50
Mm hmm. Which,

Unknown Speaker 35:52
I mean, I saw dog’s name problems. Delia something

Mark 35:55
but, Bonnie, but

Unknown Speaker 35:58
I saw problems like miles away with that, like, dogs come and go.

Unknown Speaker 36:04
Right? It’s all.

Unknown Speaker 36:06
I mean, I love my dog. And I’ve had my dog for 13 years. But if it came down between you or the dog, obviously I would choose, you

Mark 36:14
know, yeah. Needles coming out.

Unknown Speaker 36:20
This is a newer relationship. I’m just joking.

Mark 36:25
But yeah, I you know, yeah, it’s newer. And you would think that, I don’t know. She says, I can’t, you know, I can’t be with somebody that can’t be with my dog.

Unknown Speaker 36:38
But the next day or two later, she shows up at his door and like, Hey, I got rid of my dog. Yeah. did not kill it. There was no needle.

Mark 36:48
No, she gave it away to a family

Unknown Speaker 36:51
upstate, with a big yard.

Mark 36:53
Which is nice. Yeah. For the dog, I guess.

Unknown Speaker 36:56
So now, it’s like, she gave away this dog that she adores so she can be with him. So he’s really fucking stuck, right? Yeah.

Mark 37:03
I was like, he’s gonna marry this one.

Unknown Speaker 37:05
Right? It’s

Unknown Speaker 37:07
so she kisses him. And he’s and he’s like, all this and she’s got garlic breath. Like,

Unknown Speaker 37:14
he’s so miserable. Oh, it’s not good. No.

Unknown Speaker 37:16
And he decides to somehow I want to know how how did he find out? who these people are?

Mark 37:22
Maybe you just asked her?

Unknown Speaker 37:25
Hey, can you give me directions or you took your dog? No reason. Just asking for a friend. I guess

Mark 37:31
that’s true. That would be weird.

Unknown Speaker 37:33
Yeah. But he shows up at this guy’s house on announced and says hey, here’s the dog for this lady because she wants the dog back.

Mark 37:42
She can’t. She’s miserable. She’s cutting herself now. And the guy’s like, well, I’ll have to ask well, Timmy, or whatever his name is.

Unknown Speaker 37:51
And Little Timmy is deaf. It’s Cameron signing.

Mark 37:58
Can you give up Andrea? laundry and the peanut butter. And Cameron says Alright, so he hands over the the leash. Let them the guide. Richard just walks away.

Unknown Speaker 38:13
He does not take Bonnie bedelia No, I think he should have.

Mark 38:18
I really do and just I don’t know. I

Unknown Speaker 38:20
don’t know the kid can get another dog. The kids have the dog for like a day. That’s true. She loves this dog. And and he doesn’t want to be with her.

Mark 38:29
Do you think this is gonna be like, Oh, this is now this is the first episode that I have seen?

Unknown Speaker 38:34
Yeah, same here.

Mark 38:35
So do you. So I don’t know how many episodes this girlfriend has been on. But do you think that this is gonna be like a running thing? That she’s like a semi regular cast member?

Unknown Speaker 38:47
I hope not. Because that’s gonna make me really angry.

Mark 38:49
If he’s just always trying to try to dump this girl and can’t. Like she’s she just clings on to him. If he is that big of a pussy.

Unknown Speaker 38:57
I don’t think I will continue to watch the show.

Mark 38:59
Okay.

Unknown Speaker 39:02
So then Caroline, in the city decides that it is worth $200 Well, they

Mark 39:09
also talk about how like she can’t floss in front of her boyfriend. Oh, yeah. Her boyfriend can’t pee with the door open.

Unknown Speaker 39:16
Which Good for you. Don’t be with the door open. I don’t want to see anybody pee.

Mark 39:20
Yeah, it’s weird. It’s gross. Some people are into that though. Right?

Unknown Speaker 39:24
I guess.

Mark 39:27
Exactly.

Unknown Speaker 39:29
So yeah. So they’re working on trying to become more intimate and they I don’t know how that settlements. they settle on cleaning their ears in front of each other. I see a cleaner. Look. No, thank you.

Mark 39:42
Yeah, they’re gonna clean their ears and yeah. Your tips,

Unknown Speaker 39:46
and she decides that she can let people see her pick her nose, I guess. Oh, that’s something else. At the end of the episode, remember Richard goes to pick his nose because he’s trying to make her break up. Again, and instead she’s like, oh, we’re that comfortable here. Great. Let me get my toenail clippers.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai